winter-20
20200101_2239

life is passing us by and we haven't even scratched the tiniest of a fraction of a surface.



20200205_0906

what i really need is to be able to carry songs through to the end in a single performance.



20200218_1332

faskjkjkjkja sdjkjks als;kdjf

the salad salamander is kicking my toy brother

liquid sadness isn't as intimidating as liquid water

my eyes are about as heavy as a platinum bear

nothing is nothing is nothing is nothing is below there.


wasdrdaajsd safjkl;asdfiajsdf a

ginger tidings


asdfdjskals;dfpasf

apple rumple stiltzskin


rebecca is half the size
of a mountain that is twice the size
of a valley that is a third below
the height of the city that burns



20200218_1340

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


ketamine dreams are probably at least a fifth as true as they seem

bettering memes is at least a thing

time is coming and going and being all at once

time is what allows me to wonder if anything could be better or worse



20200220_1249

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


it can be hard to tell that you are heading somewhere better even when you try so hard



20200220_1250

here i am.

typing into this computer.

that is what i am doing. i have not gone crazy enough yet. i have not become desperate enough to actually rely on myself.

we have been trying to get things done.

we have been doing things. skirting by. just barely.

we have another chance today.

there is a chance that our issues with recording and laying down tracks can be improved by paying close attention. by being very deliberate. by listening. by avoiding lazy decisions.

i make lazy decisions all over the place. i have got to start keeping my mind on what matters. i waste hours a day at work just surfing and catching up on (mostly) meaningless business.

DO WHAT MATTERS. WE DO WHAT MATTERS.
WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT WE ARE GONNA GO AHEAD AND DO.

i still haven't figured out how to combine self-acceptance with a desire to do things that are 'good'.



20200224_1417

i am rat



20200225_1527

hi i'm joshua sanford and my biggest dream is to be a jumbo cotton ball.