sometimes it seems like the depth of self hatred grows in direct proportion to the efforts made to overcome it.


the only way to make something is to make it in the way you have to make it so that it gets made.


i've caught up the text pages into fall-19 and reformatted them in a way that i think will work long term.

if it was possible, i would choose to catch up all the way until the present and then update into the pages in real-time.

that is almost possible, but so much change happens in such a short period of time that it isn't really possible to create the most cohesive narrative of the near-past.

this means that for a time i will not be able to post winter-20 because it will not have any real-time contributions.

truthfully, the ability to determine a narrative is powerful and confusing and imbued with a great feeling of responsibility.

narrative-as-truth doesn't mean that the provided narrative IS truth.


april showers bring may flowers.


the Good News is i am once again swimming in desire.