spring-19
20190312_1249

experience it.
love it.
recognize what a gift this has all been.
and that the gift has been provided from some place somehow.
and that everything known about love comes from that place.
and that everything is right.
and that you can do this.
and that this is easy.
and that this is the best possible thing.
everything anyone ever had has always been the best possible thing.
experience it.
experience it.



20190405_0800

ape brain

can i chemically bind to a [JOKE]

my professor has split pants.

this so surreal.

i'm resume.



20190407_1208

i didn't mean to exist but i might aswell.



20190407_1658

so this is cool

i'm doing this now. going wild.
it seems we will soon discover how tame i am.



20190410_1000

ninjas. they know where you are.
they're coming to get you.
they expect you to pay for pizza hut.
they want pined apples.



20190410_1515

these nuggets kinda stale.



20190414_note

gonna have to get interested in everything.



20190416_1304

i think we're finally ready to make music bad enough to show people.



20190416_1434

i think if i just wake up every day with the knowledge that i have to do something that day, i will be okay.
just have to start.



20190422_1300

i am listening
writing
reading my thoughts

they sound like the room

all countries water down their water to save on water consumption

n=1500


time is the flow of sand in an hourglass.
present is the center. the past is below. the future is above.
the past and future are only ideas.

i could say that, in the future, i will go to sleep again. there is reliable probability that will happen, but when it does, it will be now then. me sleeping in the future is not real now. my imagining i will be sleeping in the future is what is real. my imagining i will be sleeping IS the future. the future is imaginary. it never really comes. and the past is imaginary because the past only exists in the unfolding of constant now. the imagination of the past through memories IS the past, but it exists in now. everything exists in now-land and will only ever exist in now-land.



20190424_0800

suffering is the price of being. the reward is meaning. any creature that breaks even is fortunate.



20190502_1739

if you wannna know how cheap happiness is, take some meth.
otherwise, maybe it's better to make life about something a little sturdier.



20190505_1219

i am a spring.
i am loaded.
i am ready.



20190510-note

BE MORE PATIENT
PATIENCE



20190514_0928_dream

i was at a carnival and there was a station where people were paying to hit animals with baseball bats.

i saved a dog and brought it back to me to the orphanage where i slept. it slept with me all night long but kept very gently biting my nose.



20190515_0802

if you wake up early and feel like you could just jump out of bed, do it.



20190515_0802

nothing is ever going to happen if i don't make more music and videos.
nothing is ever going to happen if i don't get my website sorted out.
nothing is ever going to happen if i don't discover the things within me that are mine to express.
nothing is ever going to happen if i don't start using all this time like it is the only time i have.
because it is.



20190919_1345

my life is as interesting as i let it be.